[♪]
I'm so sorry, Mr. Balagan.
We don't want to go. They're locking us out--
and who suffers?
Hmm? Me.
Who will change my linens?
Who will deliver my food?
And who will keep the groupies away?
You will survive.
Now, did you put Rosemary's ring in the vault?
Good.
You can't trust a non-union housekeeper.
How long will this madness last?
Excuse me!
No one knows.
Bud, our union president,
says lockouts are Linda's specialty.
And who is this Linda?
The management negotiator
from Huxley head office.
[Sighs heavily]
Linda, our members need to get back to work.
They've got families to feed!
Save it for the cameras, Bud.
Ooh, thank you very much.
Lawyers are the last profession to go paperless.
Hmm.
So, no staff?
Brilliant for a hotel.
Yes, well, we had to break the stalemate somehow.
Too bad this lock-out doesn't include guests.
Out of my way, Balagan.
[Groaning with effort]
Thanks, Mr. Lum.
I've been lugging these files around
all week.
Hugo, I need access to the vault.
Well, follow me.
I'm going there anyway.
Members of local 327,
we are now locked out.
Do I hear a "no rollbacks"?
[All shouting]: No rollbacks!
[Breathing hard]
Your petals are falling off, Hugo.
He needs to be watered more often.
You haven't told 'em yet?
Why do I have to do it?
'Cause they're your people.
I was born six blocks from here!
Just tell them we had to shut the ballroom down.
They'll understand.
Premature end to the wedding?
Yeah,
and I get to tell the newlyweds,
because, apparently, we all know each other.
Can you soften 'em up for me?
[Vault clanks open]
That might be hard.
Hello!
Oh!
[Giggling] Oh, my God, sorry.
Um, it's just that this is the first time
we've been alone in five days.
It's the first time we've been alone ever.
No gravy boats?
Cash gifts are the norm at an Indian wedding.
Cultural advantage.
Lucky.
Oh, wow.
That's gorgeous.
She's one lucky lady.
Not so lucky.
Uh...
Miss-- uh, ma'am?
We've just been locked out by management?
What, like a strike?
What about my wedding?
Well, we don't want to go,
b-but we have to,
and s-so did your guests.
Excuse me?
Well, we-we kind of had to evacuate the ballroom.
But I haven't said goodbye to everyone yet.
Vijay!
It's the fire regulations.
We don't have the staff to cover your event.
It is not an event, it's my wedding!
I'm sorry?
Okay, temps, welcome to the Huxley.
The hotel,
it's like a battleship.
Yes, you need a lifejacket.
Hugo, ladies room. Bring a plunger.
Gotta lead my orientation, Barb.
Front desk.
A tripping hazard?
Um...
We need you on the eighth floor.
Torn carpet.
We'll be right up.
I expect fresh towels in the morning, Barbara!
[♪]
[Telephone rings]
Good morning, Huxley Hotel.
Yes. Yes, of course, we're still taking reservations.
[Snapping fingers]
Uh-huh, no, I think that's very workable, Bud.
Yes, see you at 9:00.
Good, good.
The union's already starting to cave.
Good, because we've already had 16 cancellations.
So, ready for your honeymoon?
Just as soon as we get our gifts from the vault.
Oh. Hugo?
That's perfect.
I need my files, too.
Let's go, folks.
Thanks.
[Beeping code]
[Door lock beeps]
There you go.
Thanks.
What the hell?
Oh, my--
oh, my...
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...
Vijay, they took everything.
What kind of hotel is this?
[♪]
[Crowd roars]
♪ Endgame 01x10 ♪ Bless This Union Original Air Date on May 16, 2010
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
[Sighs wearily]
If you're looking for coffee,
the kitchen staff's locked out.
Wow, the empire is already crumbling.
I thought you'd abandoned me, too.
Yeah, right.
Bar manager, remember?
So to that now you can add bellhop,
waitress, housekeeping.
[Telephones ringing madly] I've been here all night.
Where are the stale croissants and the disgusting coffee?
No breakfast this morning, Mr. Balagan.
That is clear. Why? Barbara--
I am so sorry-- hi, this is the Huxley Hotel.
I'd like to report a robbery--
A robbery? Where?
The vault.
Thank you.
Yes...
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
This is not good at all, Mr. Lum.
Drilled right through this one.
Oh, no...
Scram, Balagan.
This is a crime scene.
The union will have a field day
with this, Mr. Lum.
Maybe I can postpone negotiations
until the police solve the case.
Postpone? No.
This ridiculous lockout needs to end now.
Hey, he's a-- he's a mental case.
I'm not a mental case, I'm a fool!
I took everything I valued
and placed it in your clumsy hands.
Uh...
Don't just stand there gaping.
Come look at the security cameras.
Oof.
We got a situation here, Larry.
Uh, Gary.
Yeah, whatever.
Just show me camera 6,
rewinding.
[Tapping keys, computer beeps in error]
F1 and shift, jeez!
How the hell did they get in this vault?
It's just another security travesty.
Why are you surprised, Hugo?
Hey, this vault's protected by
a four-quadrant security system.
Quadrant 1, manpower.
Quadrant 2, surveillance.
Just show me the camera outside the vault.
[Balagan chuckles wryly]
Okay, just keep hitting that
and rewind it,
and okay, today...
Today...
Yeah, yeah, blah, blah...
Whoa!
It's blank.
Keep going back.
It's blank for, like, 15 minutes, man.
What the hell did you do?
I don't know. It was fine when I got here.
Which was...
Some time after 12:15 last night, Hugo!
15 minutes of nothing, son of a--
I should have known any vault of yours
is no safer than a walk-in closet!
Don't blame yourself.
Okay, 15 minutes in and out?
We're talking about professional thieves here.
We got bested by the best.
That loot is probably
on a plane to Venezuela by now.
There's no extradition treaty.
So, criminal masterminds penetrated
your "four-quadrant security"?
Crack team of at least three.
Disabled the camera remotely.
Safecracker overrides the codes.
You got two drill operators,
you got, like, high-octane magnets going--
So, how did they get out of the building?
Know what?
I think I'd better go talk to those newlyweds right now.
Larry, keep an eye on things.
Gary.
Yeah, well, I'm used to Larry, so...
Gary...
I need a list
of all the guests at this hotel,
and anyone with a safe deposit key.
Sure.
Uh, you work here, right?
Yes, I'm director of...
Strategic initiatives.
I'll need a master keycard, too.
My wedding's ruined.
It's all right, honey, you'll have other weddings.
We need a police report for our insurance.
How long will that take?
Yeah, the police are on their way.
You and your family just sit tight,
make sure you're all here
for questioning.
Get your I.D.s together,
just have a coffee and--
[grumbles sternly]
Oh, right, sorry, there's no coffee today.
Um, just, uh...
Just-just sit.
I should get my papers and passport from the room.
Do you need anything?
No, I--
[elevator dings]
[♪]
So, any idea who stole our money?
Not yet.
Well, the manager says you're good at solving stuff.
The manager is good at dodging responsibility.
I feel sick.
You know, Vijay just wanted to get married at city hall,
said he didn't care,
just so long as we were together,
but I had to have my big traditional Bengali wedding.
I'm sure it was magnificent.
It was,
until we got robbed.
I-I can't even look at my dad right now.
He took out a second mortgage,
just so he could pay for everything.
Five days of rituals must have been costly.
I convinced him that it was worth it,
that it'd be the perfect day
for the whole family to remember,
but now all anyone will remember
is this.
Hugo!
Please share.
What has your meticulous investigation come up with
thus far?
The door to the roof's propped open.
Oh, amazing.
That's got to be how they escaped.
Hmm.
And how did they get off the roof?
Parachute? Hanglider? Gyro-copter?
They're international pros.
Yes, you may indeed have been robbed
by Norwegian jewel thieves,
but at least one of them knows this hotel.
It's off-season,
and so there were fewer than usual
dissatisfied Huxley guests,
but according to this list--
How did you get that?
Every one of these burgled boxes
was in use.
Now, how did they know that?
And the only mystery was 101. Which is what?
Cash float for the hotel.
Wait, so they knew
which boxes to rob?
Yes,
and the location of the vault,
and the security cameras, and the exit,
and the atrocious state of security--
You'd still need
the secret code to the vault,
and it changes every day.
[Sighs wearily]
Oh, I'm tired of that man.
[Pouring]
Did I see coffee?
Well, it's instant.
Want some?
Ugh.
Drain cleaner would be preferable.
I thought there was no food service.
Well, no, but those boys are feeling pretty bad
after the wedding last night,
so I raided the kitchen.
Mohit over there used to bus tables.
Here?
Yeah,
but he quit last year to go back to school.
Why does a groom from India
have a best man from here?
It's some crazy coincidence.
Tara and Vijay met on Shaadi.
What's that?
Lavalife for south asians?
But it turns out that Vijay's cousin, Asha,
is Mohit's sister-in-law...
Or something.
Yes, that is a crazy coincidence.
[Snapping fingers]
She just snapped at me?
Queens need pawns.
[Snaps fingers]
Put on your shoe.
Russian hangover cure, anyone?
I heard you got up to no good last night,
yes?
Did you drag the groom along?
Yeah, we kept Vijay here pretty late.
On his wedding night?
The bride must have been thrilled.
Her idea.
One last beer with Vijay's brothers here
before they fly back to Kolkata.
Ah.
But then it turned into many last beers.
[Shouting] I hear air travel and hangovers
do not mix very well!
So... how late is late?
1:00, 1:30?
1:30?
[Wheels rolling]
Pickle brine!
It really works...
Especially when you add vodka.
[Sniffing dubiously]
Danni!
No, I can't talk right now.
After the staff were locked out last night,
did you keep the bar open all on your own?
No, we shut it down just before midnight.
[♪]
Apki lambi umar ke liye!
To Vijay and Tara and all their cash.
[Laughing]
Hmm.
Those groomsmen
got up to something last night,
but it was not in the bar.
Okay, was it putting soap in the hot tub?
Ah... the militsya .
Late as usual.
[Dialing cell phone]
Sam, I need some supplies.
I don't care how you feel about picket lines.
It's an emergency.
Mr. Balagan, have you seen my husband?
What, have you lost him already?
Well, we've been looking for him everywhere,
calling his cell.
He's, like, vanished.
It's weird.
So, you were robbed last night,
and your husband went out
with his best man who used to work here,
and they all lied about where they were,
and now he's missing.
Oh, don't worry. I'm sure it's nothing.
[Knock on door]
Ah, Sammy, so good to see you.
[Sighing in relief]
Mr. Balagan, I'm...
Sorry about Rosemary's ring and everything.
Are you okay?
So, what's the emergency?
They only have instant.
I crossed a picket line just to bring you coffee?
It is not just coffee, Sam.
Scarcity creates commodification,
and coffee is the new currency.
Which you will trade
for info about the vault robbery?
Indeed.
Right after this espresso.
[Machine whirrs]
[He sighs with satisfaction]
Those new beds are the worst!
The Huxley total tranquility bed
is very challenging for the housekeepers.
And why is that, Alcina?
The goosedown duvets weigh five kilos each,
plus triple sheeting, five king-size pillows,
bolster cushion--
Alcina, look!
[Truck horn blaring] Excuse me.
[Workers chanting] Workers unite!
Covering the hotel lock-out?
Oh...
Yeah, it's a favour for Arkady.
Ah, well, he doesn't strike me as a union man.
He's not, he just wants fresh towels.
Ah.
So, where's your Bible, sister Pippa?
Well, I heard you visited our suspect in the hospital
the other day.
Emil Shirt shouldn't even be a suspect.
He admitted to me that he lied about killing Rosemary.
But not on the record, right?
Then you try.
He slipped into a coma.
Emil died at 4:00 a.m.
Another dead end.
Well, maybe not.
See, Pippa, I found a coincidence...
that can't be a coincidence.
Hi.
I'm, uh, Sam, Sam Besht.
Can I interest you in a premium coffee?
That's very kind of you, thank you very much.
Ah, Sam!
I see you've met Linda, from Huxley...
Headless office.
Can I offer you a whiskey?
Sugar?
How did you get a master keycard?
It's the decline of civilization, Linda.
[Elevator dings]
Unoccupied rooms are fair game.
[Stammering]
[Balagan sighs heavily]
Did you find anything on the cameras?
Nothing useful,
but it does look like
it was perpetrated by someone
with inside knowledge.
That poor bride and groom.
I hope you didn't lose anything too valuable.
A ring.
Oh, dear.
Is your wife very upset?
No, she's not.
Linda, what the hell?
You lock us out and now you stall?
I thought you needed time
to absorb the gravity of the situation...
A latte for the union president.
Maybe it will help smooth out the negotiations.
Danni!
Where is th--
See, there's wedding confetti everywhere.
No wonder housekeeping doesn't want to take a pay cut.
Where did the police go?
In the bar with the bride.
[Breathless] Does Sam have actual coffee?
Hey, Balagan.
What?
So, looks like the groom's done a runner.
Maybe he went to get some decent coffee!
Maybe,
but a lot of these
international Internet marriages
are a scam.
They get hitched, get their papers,
get out of town.
Officers asked the bride
where her husband was at midnight, and she says--
In the bar,
but it was closed.
Oh, and, uh, that guy--
Used to work here.
Mohit, yes, I know.
Well, did you know
that the bride's father is an insurance broker?
So you're not a complete waste of carbon.
Good for you.
See, I'm thinking
they ripped themselves off.
Double the gifts with a fake insurance claim.
You're giving your imagination
some much-needed exercise, Hugo.
Congratulations.
The groom could have got the code from Gurjit
when he let them into the vault.
Mohit would know how to find the guest registry,
and now bridezilla and dad
are playing it up for the cops.
And where does the groom fit in?
Ah, he double-crossed her.
Got his papers, took off with the loot.
You were in the vault with him last night.
Did he do anything... Suspicious?
[♪]
Hey there.
So, you're in here all alone...
[♪]
Is that a drill in your dhoti, or are you just happy to see me?
[♪]
[Drill whines]
No, no...
There's no time for that.
What else could you have been doing?
[♪]
Hmm.
[Code beeps]]
"Secret code 3-1-4-1-5-9-2.
"Diamond ring in box 121.
Happyface, lol."
You are a mysterious fellow, Vijay.
Where are you now?
The groom does have something to hide.
That's why he's missing.
Yeah, told you.
He's halfway to Venezuela by now.
Maybe you should follow him.
Tara!
Can I interest you in a latte?
I thought you might find this interesting.
Chaturanga, Sam. It's the first chess.
Yeah, it's 1500 years old.
This is my primordial soup.
That's cool.
Vijay and I used to play online.
He made me this set.
32 hand-carved pieces.
That's a small price to pay for a passport,
I suppose.
Not you, too.
What?
Why is it so hard to believe Vijay really loves me?
Maybe he loves woodworking.
Long or short espresso?
Short.
Okay.
The police asked me that.
How does your husband take his coffee?
Does he have any scars?
Does he snore?
I don't know any of that stuff.
So, wait, was your marriage, like--
Arranged? Yes.
Not in a "trade me for a donkey" way,
more like eharmony,
but with your parents looking over your shoulder.
Vij and I talked
every day on Skype for, like, a year.
No, it's cool.
I, um, I met this Belgian girl in a Doctor Who chatroom once.
You sure she was a girl, Sam?
Yeah, it's just, um,
I was never sure
she really appreciated the series.
How well did you know the best man?
Mohit?
Yes.
Since I was a kid.
Oh, let me guess,
you think he's in on this, too.
A billion people in India,
and he just happens to know your husband?
Mohit grew up in Kolkata,
and Kulin Brahmins hang pretty tight.
And he used to work in this hotel.
No, Mohit's not a thief.
He plays frisbee golf and he makes his own yogurt.
[Cell phone chimes]
Oh.
If Vijay wasn't in the bar last night,
where was he?
Maybe he was playing hide the cham-cham
with his bridesmaid,
or maybe he was robbing the vault.
Why are you insulting my husband?
Why is there confetti in my coffee?
I don't know.
It's Vijay.
Finally! See?
I told you. He's fine.
It's a video message.
Tara..
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
"I'm sorry"... What?
"I'm sorry I robbed you?"
"I'm sorry this whole marriage is a fake?"
I'm sorry what!
[Sobbing]
Chocolate?
It's not quite as bad as it may seem right now.
Oh, come on.
My first day of marriage,
all our money and jewels stolen,
and my new husband's missing?
Look, that is three things.
It's not necessarily related, okay?
Hugo said the door to the roof was propped open.
Go get your husband's sherwani from last night.
He always has a reason.
Please, go.
Thank you.
So, how does this work, there's four armies?
Yes, yes.
There's two sets of allies.
Green and black versus red and yellow,
and you can even save each other's rajas.
Ah, cooperation.
Fortunately, chess got rid of that ridiculous concept.
Here you go.
Ah.
Don't be so sullen.
[Sniffs]
[Chuckles]
[All sniffing]
Memories of Amsterdam.
Your husband and his groomsmen
were smoking cannabis last night,
likely on the roof.
Weed?
Yes.
Seriously? [Sniffing]
Oh, he is so dead.
It explains Mohit's enthusiasm for frisbee golf.
[Laughs]
No, that message from Vijay
wasn't "sorry I smoked a joint,"
it was "sorry, something really bad."
I'll tell you what.
Go to the bar, play three games,
and if Vijay's still not back,
I give you permission to worry.
That's enough coffee.
Hmm.
So, Mohit and the groomsmen go up to the roof
just to smoke a doobie?
I don't think the answer lies
in the wedding party, Hugo.
You're forgetting the numerology quadrant, Balagan.
The secret code to the vault.
That groom's pretty tall,
he could have looked over Gurjit's shoulder.
So, who has this top-secret code?
Just me and the night supervisor.
The vault company calls me
gives me seven new digits every morning.
Seven whole digits?
Well, it's police training.
Cops work on the fly.
We gotta keep a lot of stuff up here.
So the vault company calls with a new code.
You take the call here?
Yeah.
"Yeah."
Utterly incompetent security headquarters.
How may I direct your call today?
Oh, security code!
No problem, I got it.
[Hangs up telephone]
[Key clatters]
[Drawer opens]
Is this it?
I'm not at liberty to say.
Come on, you don't know for sure
the thieves found that,
and I heard that the timeclock gang
has a digital code-breaker--
This doesn't need to be a daring caper, Hugo.
For 15 minutes,
all that was between robbers and my fiancee's ring
was a post-it.
It is a four-quadrant security--
Stop quoting the vault pamphlet!
Quadrant means "four."
You do not need to put--
All right, fine!
But you're forgetting the fourth-- thing.
Listen, are you going to hear me out or what?
Hugo, yes, I understand it's numerology!
Manpower, blah, blah--
surveillance and the vault itself.
[Sighs]
Each safety deposit box
has a two-inch vanadium cobalt shell
with a titanium bolt.
Hugo, you're drooling.
To get in and out in 15 minutes,
you need heavy machinery,
and the manpower to use it.
Like I said, three guys minimum.
So, four redundant quadrants.
I still don't think it was the wedding party, Hugo.
You just met these people yesterday.
And yet I believe them.
You I've known for months, and I'm still not so sure.
[Woman]: Excuse me!
That carpet is a tripping hazard!
Did you call last night?
I did, you were sending someone up.
Are you sure it was the same floor?
I believe that was taken care of.
Hugo, I sent some duct tape up with one of your temp guards
and told her to fix it.
Whoa, wait what, her ?
Yeah, well, I haven't learned all their names yet,
but she said she'd take care of it.
Sure it was a lady?
She was about this tall.
Oh, yes, I saw her.
Yes, very small.
How small? Like dwarf small?
Leprechaun small?
Like I said, very small.
She wasn't a guard,
at least not one I hired.
Oh, of course not,
no female sailors on Hugo's battleship.
Hugo, you don't have a discriminatory hiring policy,
do you?
Of course not,
but private guards have a height requirement.
Maybe this imposter was one of the thieves.
Did you think about that?
Where did this tripping hazard happen.?
The eighth floor.
Maybe someone saw her.
Hugo, ladies' room toilet.
Barb, there's--
Now.
[Grumbles in annoyances]
This place...
Oh, hello.
Did you see a security guard here
last night?
A woman about this tall?
No, no.
Have you seen my son-in-law, Vijay?
Don't you think I would have told you?
[Keycard warbles]
Mm-hmm.
[Bathroom door opens]
Arkady!
What are you doing in here?
Excuse me.
Are you scavenging the mini-bar?
No, no, I had a... towel emergency.
Well, you can't have this one.
[Laughs]
Clearly, I...
Can't.
I just had to clean up.
I've been working like a dog all night,
I needed to feel human again.
Well, you look human enough to me.
Except for the confetti in your hair.
Still?
Mm-hmm.
God, stupid wedding confetti, it's everywhere.
How's the abandoned bride?
Uh, the abandoned bride, she's, um...
She's hoping she's not abandoned.
The police think it's marriage fraud.
Hmm.
Would you marry someone for citizenship?
[Laughs]
I'm never getting married again.
Again?
I should go get dressed.
[Power whines down]
What is this?
Seriously?
Someone is messing with my hotel.
[♪]
[Clattering]
Stop right there!
Or what,
you'll shine two flashlights?
Jeez, Balagan.
You know, you really should wear shoes down here.
I wanted to see who cut the power.
Yeah, well, just don't get in my way.
[Distant clattering]
What?
Okay, stay right where you are!
Stay there!
[Arkady]: Vijay?
So, you thought you'd pull the breakers
and make a getaway in the dark, huh?
What? No.
I didn't touch anything.
There was a security guard down here.
He was messing with the breakers.
Ah, temps, man, they are all idiots.
Which security guard, Vijay?
Was it a woman?
No, the guy from last night,
the one who shut down our wedding.
Gurjit?
What the hell is he doing in the hotel?
Which breakers?
Which breakers!
So what are you hiding from down here, Vijay?
Your wife? The police?
Here's the thing...
[Sighs] So, game three.
Are you letting me win to cheer me up?
No.
Hey.
Look who I found in the basement.
Vijay!
Where the hell did you go?
Um...
Try the truth, Vijay.
Women love it.
Tara, I'm sorry that I lied to you
about being in the bar--
Marijuana?
On our wedding night?
I was nervous to...
be with you
after we'd only ever talked online.
So you got high?
I thought it would help.
It worked.
Mazeltov.
The police need to talk to you
about the robbery--
there's something else you need to know.
What, you're a drug dealer?
A jewel thief?
I thought I knew you.
You do,
except one thing.
When I was 18,
some friends and I stole a police officer's motorcycle,
and crashed it through a pharmacy window.
I was sentenced to six months and served four.
We talk every single day for a year,
and you don't tell me this?
I knew your parents would never let you marry me
if I did.
No kidding!
But wait, you can't emigrate here
with a criminal record.
I sent them a fake background check.
You could be deported!
I did it because I love you.
And because you love me, you robbed the hotel vault?
No.
I had nothing to do with that.
Really? Why should I believe you?
We've been married one day, Vijay,
and you've been lying for most of it.
Tara, I just panicked.
It happens.
Oh, so you believe him, Mr. Balagan?
Because at this point,
you've known him for almost as long as I have.
I would give him the benefit of the doubt.
You're married.
Green and black.
You're allies now.
Maybe,
but if Vijay didn't rob the vault, then who did?
How do I trust you now?
Tara, one small thing.
Did you have confetti at your wedding?
No, just flower petals.
Ark, that ring.
I-I'm so sorry.
My babushka gave it to me when I left Novosibirsk.
I told her it was a waste of time.
I was never going to get married.
[Chuckles wryly]
I was 19.
Rosemary loved that ring.
Yes.
My great-grandfather looted it from the Winter Palace
during the revolution.
[Chuckling] Now it's been stolen twice.
So, your favourite cop came to see me.
Jason Evans with the big feet.
Yeah.
Do you have a marker?
Over there.
What are you doing?
No, Pippa, Alcina will kill--
No, this is big.
We need visuals.
Rosemary and her friend Greg were shot and killed...
Mm-hmm.
The spotter--
Who showed the shooter whom to kill, yes.
Yes, he worked for Crosstown Limos.
Okay.
Crosstown Limos drove Trinh the escort,
who worked for Midnite Beauties...
Yes.
And then there's Emil Shirt,
who just died in the hospital.
Emil Shirt may have confessed to the shooting,
but we both know he wasn't there, so...
Yeah, true, but Emil Shirt did steal cars,
and he sold them to Tyson's Auto.
Tyson's Auto Services the fleet for...
[Together]: Crosstown Limos?
Everything seems to be connected,
I just don't know how.
Yes, but they're just all pieces, Pippa.
Find out who moves them,
then we'll know who the opponent is.
Until then...
I'm sorry.
[Elevator dings]
Ah, back so soon.
Tell me this ridiculous lock-out is over.
Unfortunately not.
It seems the union's got a source
inside Huxley Hotels.
We started negotiating,
and Bud knew a lot of highly, highly confidential details.
Details you've kept in the vault, yes?
He knew our bottom line
and which Huxley properties are turning a profit.
So the lock-out continues?
Until the union comes to its senses.
I am in pain...
Why would you mess with the breakers?
Workplace sabotage, Hugo.
It's when your staff are incompetent
on purpose.
I didn't do anything.
You know what,
I could have you charged with trespassing.
And did you plug the toilets in the lobby?
Because I had to clean that up!
No way.
What about the soap in the hot tub?
No, that was Zofia. Genius.
What about shutting down the security cameras, huh?
Am I fired?
Answer my question first.
I suspended the systems, but only for 15 minutes.
Bud, our union Prez, he paid me 500 bucks to hit a button.
So you could rob the vault?
The vault was robbed?
When?
Right after you shut down the cameras.
Coincidence?
I think not.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, , Mr B.,
after the lock-out, I went to my buddy Kevin's house.
You can ask his mom.
Oh, I will ask his mom.
So...
Am I fired?
No, promoted.
You're management now.
You work for me 24-7 till the lock-out's over,
and you're on toilet duty.
See how genius that is!
Alcina.
I need to speak with President Bud,
about this sabotage.
Hello, Alcina.
Please...
Welcome, Mr. Michaels.
Mr. Balagan,
how do you make it so dirty so fast?
That was Pippa.
You're stealing.
No, looting.
Coffee?
Sure, thanks.
Mr. Michaels,
the hotel vault was robbed last night.
Whoa.
Did they take Rosemary's ring?
Yes.
I'm sorry.
Linda says you have insider information
on Huxley World Hotels.
Insider?
I don't know about that.
Are you really surprised
the thieves you hired to steal Linda's documents
would take advantage of being in a vault
filled with cash and jewels?
Look, man, just give me a break, okay?
A break?
We already know your workers are sabotaging the hotel.
Some union workers,
not the union.
This president right here
paid Gurjit $500
to suspend the cameras at midnight.
Yeah, well, sometimes, people go out of control.
It's best not to have cameras.
Right, like flooding the toilets?
Bud, someone could slip and fall--
Yes, how about confetti in the air vents?
This is him right here.
I told them to lay off the confetti, Alcina--
it is a nightmare for housekeeping--
I know, I know...
How did you get the Huxley financials?
Look, I think it's legal
to receive anonymous faxes, okay?
I'm outta here.
[♪]
Danni--
No, both my temps quit and I am swamped.
You're going to have to wait.
Okay.
Linda, what is your drink?
Gin, dirty, two olives.
Have you tried vodka and pickles?
Has anyone?
Would you excuse me one minute?
What were you thinking?
I caught my dad crying. You've ruined everything.
Tara, I'm not a thief.
Oh, except for the motorcycles.
I was 18!
Sam, in the elevator--
How'd you get here?
When Linda asked about my ring, she said,
"was your wife very upset?" Yes?
I guess she didn't know about Rosemary--
But how did she know it was a woman's ring?
I did not specify that, did I?
Well, no, but you could assume--
I've been waiting for 15 minutes
for my bloody mary!
Well, I'm sorry,
you're just going to have to be patient,
I am all on my own here.
[♪]
You were all on your own, weren't you?
But without help,
you must have been in here all night.
So how did you leave after the cameras came back on?
The air vents?
[Drill whines]
Danni!
You're a genius.
Finally, somebody notices...
Sam!
It would take at least three people
to rob the vault in 15 minutes,
but one woman could do it alone
if she had all night.
But once the cameras came on,
no one came in or out of here.
See?
It's too narrow.
What'd she do,
turn herself into a ghost?
[Groans]
Party confetti are little circles,
but these are squares...
Actually rhombi.
Looks like shredded paper.
[♪]
Yes.
Highly, highly confidential
legal documents
about Huxley World Hotels.
Hugo, think back, if your brain permits--
how were Linda's boxes arranged here in the vault?
Don't ask me, Gurjit put 'em in.
Yes, one by one,
but in the morning,
they were all stacked and attached to the--
what is that, um...
[Clapping in frustration]
The two-wheeled apparatus? The...
Dolly.
Really? "Dolly?"
So did Linda put them
on the Dolly,
or is that how you found them?
I don't know, Balagan,
I was kind of paying attention to
the vault robbery.
Yes, and that is
exactly what she was hoping.
[♪]
Shh!
Of course!
It was a mechanical turk.
That makes sense.
So we're looking for a turk.
No, the mechanical turk
was this chess-playing automaton--
A what?
Like an 18th-century robot.
That's right,
who mysteriously defeated many human challengers,
including Napoleon Bonaparte
and Benjamin Franklin.
So they used a robot.
No, the mechanical turk
turned out to be a hoax.
There was a hidden operator inside.
One very small adult human.
Ah-hah! The leprechaun, I told you.
So, we've got...
Wait, what exactly happened?
[Key rattles]
[Drawer opens]
[[♪]
You made it.
Now, how did you do it?
[Drill whines]
Mm-hmm.
[Shredder crunching]
Yes, but how did you escape?
[Vault door clanks open]
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
Here I come to rob you blind.
If I keep talking, talking, talking,
you won't notice the dolly.
And thanks for the ring
your great-grandfather stole.
I will have the stolen valuables
in the security office
within one hour.
What? Wait? How do you know that?
A little rent-a-cop told me.
Alcina, call your President Bud.
Tell him to get Linda back to the bargaining table.
I have a feeling the Huxley World Hotels
are ready to negotiate.
It's amenity creep!
Chocolates, hand sanitizers,
body scrubs, herbal teas.
It's killing the housekeepers, Linda--
We've been over this, Bud.
It's the Huxley.
Guests expect perks.
How do you know the loot's in there?
Maybe the leprechaun has it.
No, Linda wouldn't trust it to an accomplice.
She's too controlling.
Okay, so, maybe she left it back in her room.
Sam, it's a lock-out.
Anyone who asks can get a master keycard.
[Keycard warbles]
Keep watch for saboteurs.
How did you get in here?
Well, hello, Dolly!
Mr. Balagan, this is a private meeting,
you'll have to excuse us.
No, you can't touch those--
what are you doing?
Ah-hah! I knew it!
Linda?
You robbed the vault?
[Snaps lid shut]
I am not a police, but they are in the building.
Now, we could bring this to them.
Or--
Keep talking.
Or we can negotiate.
How does that sound?
Are all the valuables here?
Uh-huh.
The leprechaun, in the boxes.
Family member, perhaps,
or a lover, what?
My niece,
and she prefers "petite."
So, you and your petite niece
devised a cunning heist
using nothing but office supplies.
That is very inspired, congratulations.
And then you blame it on your opponent
by leaking information.
You faxed the Huxley financials to the union?
You set me up.
Oh, shut up, Bud,
with your 200 grand a year plus benefits.
Do you know how many eggs I've had thrown at me?
How many freezing hotels I've had to sleep in
because your workers sabotage the H-VAC?
You nearly destroyed a marriage.
Huxley World Hotels destroyed mine.
200 days of travel a year,
60 hours a week.
And that entitles you
to do a little sabotage of your own?
I'm 54 years old, Mr. Balagan.
The only work I want to do at this point is in my garden.
Hmm.
I caution you not to go public, Bud.
Because you shut down those cameras,
and that makes you an accessory.
I'm not going to say anything.
But I will
if you two do not end this ridiculous labour dispute
right now.
4% raise over three years.
3% rollback over two years.
2.5% over two years.
1.5% over 18 months--
How about the deal we got right now?
Fine. That sounds good.
Okay.
[♪]
You found this near the service doors.
No, I didn't.
[Gasps]
Oh, right, the thieves got scared and ditched the loot.
They encountered your four quadrants
and fled in terror, yes.
Whatever. We found it.
Whoa.
Here we go.
[Gasping] My mom's maang tikka!
It's all safe and sound.
I believe that's yours, too.
And let me just check...
Thank you.
I won't say this case didn't puzzle me,
but, uh, I used to be a cop...
Ah...
A renewed alliance, I see.
We're working on it.
Well, a little suspicion is never a bad thing.
My dad knows an immigration lawyer.
She says maybe Vijay can stay.
Good.
Oh, you got your ring back.
Yes.
It's engraved...
Mm-hmm.
It's Russian, yeah?
What does it say?
"Everything I understand,
I understand only because I love."
It's Tolstoy.
Thank you, Mr. Balagan.
You're welcome.
How are you, Danni?
[Laughs]
Are you my new temp?
A temporary temp.
I have it on good authority
the lock-out will end soon.
Oh, thank God,
'cause I am beat.
Can you pass me the gin?
And... slice the lemons.
Sure.
So... Danni, you were married, yes?
That was a lifetime ago,
but, yeah.
Maybe one day I will tell you the story
when I'm not completely exhausted.
I look forward to it.
Can you mix me an old-fashioned?
Of course,
I just need some angostura bitters
and a decent workspace...
Hello.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
We're playing for them--
Five games, five hostages.
Every time you win, one goes free.
Every time you lose or draw,
One dies.
If I lose, a hostage dies.
Not if you let us do our job.
Rook h1!
Shut him up!
Get off me!
You should have let Mr. Balagan play that game.
He could've won. He loses on time.
- [Gunshot] - No!
This is not a mind game.
I will break you.